Me and the Sea

Christmas of my senior year in college (aka last year), we went to the province to spend the holidays with our relatives. We stayed at my grandparents' house by the sea. This was a delight to my cousins and my brother, since it meant that they could go for a swim in the sea anytime they want without having to pay any fees, even if it wasn't a developed beach resort. 

And me? I stayed in the house pretty much our entire stay. 

Yes, all you beach lovers who happen to stumble upon this post, this might probably enrage you and I can see you planning my miserable and painful death by drowning in the sea or something like that, but it's true. I have my reasons why I stayed in, and they're so petty that I won't say what they were exactly, but basically it was me not being comfortable in the place, with the house being new (or rather, not quite finished yet). Add in my laziness, and I really spent those days staring at the sea, but never going out even just to touch it with my feet. 

Why the reminiscing? Because it pretty much happened again today. We went to a beach today and yes, I did not go for a swim. Well, can I just say that I have a valid reason this time (of the month) not to, although whatever did they say about if there's a will there's a way? But you know, I still have a valid reason. Haha. 

Yes, mostly I was this far from the sea.

Nevertheless, it was a fun day at the beach for me. First off, unlike that Christmas vacation, I was actually outside. Granted, there was no house for me to hide in, but still, I was there voluntarily, and I actually wanted to go to the beach. I just didn't count on not being able to go for a swim. And even though it was only my feet and legs which got acquainted with the sea, I still enjoyed my day at the beach. 

View from my reading spot.

How so? Basically, I just relaxed that day. No stress, no worries, just the sea, family and friends, and me. I don't have to go swim if I really don't want to, and I just went about my own way. This meant sleeping, eating, and getting to read my book. Sounds boring, but when life has been hell-ish and suffocating for the past few weeks, maybe months even, just a lazy day on the beach is something to be really thankful for. 

Lovely, lazy day at the beach. 

And I'm really thankful for this day. I think I'll get to a beach again this summer (maybe), and hopefully, if that time comes, I'll do more. But for now, this will do. 

P.S. On a side note, today marks my parents' wedding anniversary! Wee! (Actually that was a major reason for this trip) And, it's also my university graduation anniversary! Hahaha

2NE1

I wasn't able to post a blog entry in weeks, and during that time, a very important event has occurred.

No, it does not have anything to do with politics, or with the stars. In fact, it just concerns me.

You see, last February 17, I turned 21. Yes. Twennyone. 


While that event may not move mountains or realign the planets, it does have quite an impact on me. Well, duh, I'm the one who celebrated a birthday, for crying out loud. And it's not just any birthday. It's my 21st.


I'm really an adult now. A legal adult pretty much all over the world. That is not something to be easily ignored. It's quite scary, in fact. I loved being 17 before; I can do a lot of things I want, but without the accountability and responsibility that comes with being 18, much less being 21.


But with all the hullabaloo that I'm giving this alleged turning point in my life, my birthday passed by rather inconspicuously. Is this how adulthood is supposed to be? No more colorful birthday parties, balloons, and all that jazz?

Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. Again. My birthday is to use my own word, quite "chill", but that's not to say it wasn't special (and I'm confusing myself with the double negative). That's not really surprising, since my birthday is usually right in the thick of school stuff (I think in high school my birthday usually falls on exam week or somewhere near there, which makes it a really hectic period).  So, without further ado, let me share some stuff about what transpired during my birthday, which, coincidentally, is also Random Acts of Kindness Day (according to my Journal, that is).


It's been over a week since this happened, so I don't quite know how I'll go about this...let's see...

1. School


Ah, yes. Unfortunately, the rest of the world is not gonna stop moving just because it's my birthday. Therefore, I have to go to school. But of course the good thing about that is I have my blockmates with me all day. And that's something I'm thankful for.

And even then, I consider myself having a birthday treat, because a professor I dread seeing that day (given that I wasn't able to study the materials for his class) did not ask for a recitation! In fact, we spent his class listening to interesting tales about school, work, and life. It was really a treat. (I think some of my classmates fell in love with him that day. I was just happy to have enjoyed that meeting so much.)

2. Blockmates

Ah, yes. I don't know how I could have endured the schoolday aka my birthday if it weren't for my lovely blockmates who were there with me throughout most of the day, singing birthday songs whenever possible. Somehow, through all the hell months, days, weeks, hours, minutes, and seconds (yes law school can be that agonizing) these people have wormed their way into my heart. And I thought I'd never get along with anyone! Okay, I'm being too mushy now, I love you guys (not that you'll read this), and let's end this at that. Dlock D is the dest! <3

3. Fantastic Four ++


Ah, well...when I said I thought I'd never get along with anyone, I wasn't kidding. Which is why I stuck like glue to the people I sat with during the first day of class. Luckily for me, we clicked together, and have been awesomesauce friends/rowmates ever since. And of course, I can't forget the panda and the tycoon/"hero" who are always so generous to me. And to someone so fluffy I'm gonna die who took pictures of my special day. I'm not naming names because I don't know how you'd feel being blogged about like this, but thanks. Thank you for the cake, for the gifts, for the effort, for taking pictures, for going out of your way to make me feel special. I love you guys!

Thanks, for the cake, friends!

And thanks for helping me eat it too! XD

A really, really cute edition my blockmate gave me! <3

Another book! And it has an awesome cover! So happy~

I have such awesome friends. <3

4. Facebook Messages


For being quite cut off from the rest of the world on my birthday, I received a lot of love over on Facebook. Close friends, friends, acquaintances, people from the past, people I'm not even sure I know, have left me greetings from the time Facebook announced my birthday, and even for a few days after. And as much as I got a bit tired of saying thank you in different forms and languages and emoticons as I replied, know that I am very touched to see all of those messages. And I know that sometimes I don't even greet people whose birthdays I see on Facebook, so really, thanks guys!

5. Rock N' Roll Birthday Treat!


Yes, I'm pretending that Never Shout Never, The Maine, and We The Kings performed in Trinoma on February 17 because it's my birthday. Hahaha. But still, it was a really nice surprise to find out that they were performing on my birthday! Especially since I just discovered and learned to love Never Shout Never's music and I have always loved We The Kings' Stay Young and Check Yes Juliet. So I was really happy, even if it wasn't under the ideal circumstances (I didn't get to have a ticket because I had class the day tickets were given out and so I was really far from the stage), that I got to hear a) their music, and b) hear it live. 


For this, dear panda, thank you. :)

6. Family


I did not see my mom, my dad, or my little brother at all during my birthday (in fact, as of press time, I still haven't. Especially my dad, who's not really in the country right now.). Still, this doesn't mean that I didn't feel their love for me. And I had my wonderful aunt with me, so I'm really thankful.

Days before my actual birthday, my dad called me a few times, reminiscing on the events that were supposedly happening at that time before my birth. Thinking about it now, I don't know if I want to laugh or cry at the sappiness of it all. My father has done so much for me, that whenever I think about it, I get the strength to trudge onwards despite the difficulty.

My mother called me on my birthday, and she has always been so good to me. And scary, too. Still, I'm thankful to have such a strong and cheerful mother in my life. She's really a force to be reckoned with. Aaaand, they had food for the family back in Cavite! How crazy is that! I wasn't even there! XD

And, miracle of all miracles, my brother texted me a happy birthday! You know how growing boys would be anywhere but near their mothers and sisters? Yeah, he's in that phase. So you can see how this message means a lot to me. Even if he asked for his long overdue gift at the end of it.

And of course, my aunt, who has been with me throughout all these years, despite me being the brat that I am.   She made me fruit salad for my birthday! I'm so happy. And I've yet to take her out on that birthday date we're supposed to have.

I'm just so blessed to have these people in my life.

And so...

That pretty much sums it up, actually. This is like the extended version. And this is my thanks.

Now, onwards we go...

Jinx and Realizations

This always happens. I say I'm back, then I disappear right after. I write in my diary that I think I finally can be consistent in my entries, and then I forget writing for a year. It's as if I jinx myself. Actually, maybe I do?

So perhaps I should give a little explanation as to where I went after I've said my thanks and that I've finally finished my undergraduate degree. Emphasis on finishing my thesis, because I really don't understand sometimes how I was able to do it, especially now that I look back on it.

But that's not the point. The point is that, it's done, right? I'm supposed to have a lot of time in my hands now. Or at least be able to focus more on this blog now, and maybe have a job or other exploits that I can talk about. But I was completely silent. And well, other than laziness (which is a big factor), there is actually a reason.

The thing is, I'm studying. Yes, I'm still studying. Or maybe, I'm studying again. But the point is, I'm studying!

What in the world-?!

Yes. That's quite my sentiment too.

But the fact is, to a certain extent, I'm actually having fun. But don't misunderstand me. This is one hell of a challenge. A level up, let's say. Old habits are not welcome anymore; new ones are needed, or else you'll never survive. The feeling right now is as if everyday is examination day. And I'm thinking, if that's how a regular class day is, what on earth will the actual exam day look like?!!

Anyway. Now that I've established what has been happening in my life, maybe I could go on to some effects this "level-up studying" has on me so far. Actually, I just want to enumerate some of the things that have taken on a different value for me ever since I started this postgraduate activity.

1. Sleep.

I have known the value of sleep ever since my thesis-making days/nights (Why do those days seem so far away? Barely a year has passed!). But even then, I was still able to sleep for as long as more than ten hours after I pull an all-nighter for a project or for my thesis. After graduation, sucky internet connection has turned me into a nocturnal, with weird sleeping habits, or just a weird body clock. But if you count the hours of sleep that I get, it's still quite a lot.

But now? Sleeping for 8 hours straight is a sin, and falling asleep when you're not supposed to, even if it's for just around 2 hours, induces guilt. Now, sleep has taken on a different meaning: a) it's the enemy, and b) it's a precious, precious thing. Oh how I miss having the freedom to sleep when and for how long as I want to.

2. Time

This is quite connected to sleep, but it is so much more than that. During undergrad, time was just...time. Sometimes I'd go to school, and go back home feeling as if nothing really happened, and I just passed time sitting in class, listening to the lecture. Some days I feel as if I just let time pass.

Now, time matters. A lot. Two hours, which felt like, well, two hours, before, can now feel like forever. That is especially true when you're on your feet, hoping and praying that your recitation ends (and that somehow you still get a decent grade no matter how poor your answers seem to be). Nine hours can seem so short when you have a mountain of readings to study.

And, even one day can feel like heaven if you get to rest and enjoy yourself without feeling guilty about it.

In short, now, I don't just let time pass. I actually experience its passing. In the good and the bad way.

3. Leisure reading

Oh, how I miss the days where I can choose what I want to read it and read in a way that I want to. In one night, or maybe take it slow if I want to do so. I was actually building up my list of stuff to read by the time summer vacation was ending.

Now, however, I have a growing mountain of readings. I have no choice but to read them, and I have to read them ASAP. Not doing so has consequences (consequences that I have already experienced). I'm not saying that I don't like what I read now, in fact, they're very interesting, but now, I can't afford to just read. I have to read critically, more than I have ever done before. Because in the future, it can really be a matter of life or death. That's not even a joke.

4.Opportunity

There are things that you just realize, whether you want to or not, whether it happens on your own or not. I know that maybe there is someone out there who's better off in my position, and yet this is how things happened. It's really an eye-opener, and gives a whole new meaning to why I'm here and what I'm supposed to do.

5. Society

I mean this in the "friends and family" way. Studying like this entails being a hermit of sorts, and the effect is that sometimes I just thirst for some good old chat with friends. This is something that might be taken for granted on a regular day, but it really is something to value.


6. Study habits

Do I really have to explain this?


Change, from what I've heard, is really a scary  and uncomfortable thing. And yes, it is quite scary. And uncomfortable. This new venture is also very tiring, and has lots of implications. It's time to get really serious, no matter how difficult it is. Still, change can be good, especially if it is not simply about learning something new, but actually getting a new perspective, and forming and reinforcing a lot of values.

Hopefully, I don't jinx my first semester. Fight!

P.S. Do you like Scribbles' new look? ;)

Hello, World!

I'm back for real!!! Well isn't that nice?

My thesis experience is something that I don't want to talk about, but I'm just happy for the fact that now, I'm actually doing stuff that is school-, but not acad-related. And I'm actually graduating. No kidding!

Honestly, this is something I cannot see say three months, or even 2 weeks ago. I probably would have cried (or come close to it, or became really depressed), if I tried to imagine myself in this day, since it would have been really impossible. That's how precarious my situation was. Ah, the past tense never looked so good.

Before, my greatest worry was finishing my thesis and getting enough credits to graduate on time. Now, my biggest dilemma is finding a dress to wear for my graduation. God is so good.

So, I have a feeling they won't be reading this anyway, since I don't know if this blog is known, but I'm really thankful to everyone who helped me during this last and final stretch of my college life.

God is really great and merciful. He never let me down, even though I'm weak.

My parents are the best, most supportive parents ever. I'm such a spoiled kid.

I have wonderful aunts and cousins.

I have awesome and really intelligent friends, they can even be my thesis advisers.

I am blessed to have my professors.

I am one tired but thankful kid.

Thank you Lord.

Karaoke Monday

What do you do when you already have a three-hour break, and then because your next class is suddenly cancelled because the professor will not attend, it becomes a 4 1/2- hour break?

Well, you go sing karaoke, of course!

Four girls (three of which, I think, are kinda sleepy at the time) had this spontaneous idea. I, being part of the four girls and one of the sleepy ones, was open to the idea, but at first was not so enthusiastic. Well, duh, I was sleepy! So even though I really crave karaoke (my growing database of lyrics kinda attest to that claim), I was in a so-so mood.

But then we got to Timezone. I was still sleepy, so I just pitched in a bit and just decided to go with the flow. Sadly, there were no available booths at that moment. (Well, there was one girl who was in a videoke booth singing all alone, but if she paid, who are we to judge?)

Seeing as we can't just stand outside the booth like pathetic little girls, we went around the arcade. And then we got to the racing games. Ooh, up to four can play!

Bam! I was wide awake.

Yes, even to the point that sadly, I was swearing already. I mean, my car was flipping on its back and treating the sidewalk as the main road and the lampposts as I don't know, paint?-and not roadblocks! That first round I was, I think 3rd or 4th overall but 2nd in the players ranking. One of the four girls who was absent in the first round because she settled stuff just arrived, and since the game can link up to four players, we decided to give it a go again.

Shame on all shames, I made the wrong car choice! My performance was worse, and I got a lower ranking. Boo! (More swearing in this round, naturally.)

Now that a booth is finally available (and I am now wide awake), we went back to the karaoke booth. And the singing begins!!!

We sang quite a lot, and by the end of it all, were totally weirded out by the people on the screen, as they weren't really that appropriate for the song (don't worry, they're wholesome, but still), and sang our throats raw. We also decided by the end that we have to perfect our version of Lady Marmalade. For some weird reason, I get to be the rapper. Haha!

What a way to kill time. Makes you wish that Mondays are as stress-free as that.

Unfortunately for me, Mondays could prove to be my hell, and my undoing.