Impoverished Bookworm

I love books. Really. I don't know when it started, but ever since I was young, I enjoyed reading. I love imagining the things I read about, which is probably why even now I'm still partial to the fantasy genre. It's a bit escapist, but hey, to each his/her own, right?

One would think that with me being a booklover and a voracious reader ever since childhood, I would have a lot of books. Unfortunately, that is not the case. I went to a classmate's house once, a classmate who I know has interests in art and what not, but not that much in reading. However, when I looked around their living area, I saw books--a whole lot of them. Cue envy.

Well, the answer's simple, right? If you want books so badly, go buy them. However, I didn't grow up that way.

When I was younger, I wanted a lot of things, books included. My striking memory regarding that matter, though, was my mom asking me if the books I wanted to buy were relevant for school. And since they were pretty much fiction books that have no direct relevance to my schoolwork, I said no, and then that's that. No books. Hence, I grew up only asking for things when I have a good argument regarding their necessity. When I asked my dad to give me a laptop when I graduated from high school, I emailed him about it and cited my academic achievement plus the fact that it would be necessary for schoolwork as grounds for him to get me the said gadget.

I've only recently learned (and by recently, I meant sometime during college) that I can actually ask for something just because I want to, and nobody will give me hell about it. Unless it's completely ridiculous, of course.

So, the problem should be solved by now, right? I can just ask for books. The thing is, the realization that I can ask for stuff I want came when I actually have the capacity and should learn how to budget, and do certain things independently and responsibly. That includes my hobbies, unfortunately. That's a shame, since I think I would have quite the collection by now if I was more of a spoiled brat (more than I am already) back then. But that's in the past already.

Now, the problem is that I'm a college student who has a lot of requirements that entail spending money (readings and a whole lot more) and who is more aware regarding difficulties in earning money and the ailing economy. Which means I can't be oblivious to the fact that we have a lot of necessities to spend on, unlike the younger me, who can claim innocence. Oh, the joys of childhood.

This brings us back to the title of this entry, which is also a description of me: an impoverished bookworm. I think it is quite a tragedy that you have this craving for books, and it's actually a good thing, since it helps with your intellect and what not, and yet not have the money to indulge. And there are those who have the money, yet spend it on vile vices. The cruelty of it all!

On the brighter side (yes there is one), I suppose it is better for me not to have that big collection of books right now. Especially since I don't have a proper place where to put those books. Some books that I have bought so far are actually misplaced. Dear me, why is our house so miniscule! And so disorganized, too. I really hope that in the future, I get to have a pretty house with my very own library. That is a part of my happy dream.

At the end of the day, I'm still a bookworm. I'm not gonna stop reading. And I'm gonna buy those books someday!

Well, how about you? Is there a hobby you're frustrated about but can't indulge in because of economic constraints?